


Hold Me

by AmethystofAugust



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bottom Yang Jeongin | I.N, Crossdressing, Dirty Talk, Dry Humping, Femininity, First Time Blow Jobs, Friends With Benefits, Hair-pulling, Hand Jobs, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, If you squint theres minsung, It’s 3 am pls, Kink Exploration, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, NSFW, Non-Penetrative Sex, Overstimulation, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Top Hwang Hyunjin, Whining, idk how to do tags, just read it idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:01:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26621059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmethystofAugust/pseuds/AmethystofAugust
Summary: Yang Jeongin may appear sweet and innocent, but even he has his secrets.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 16
Kudos: 117





	1. (1)

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so going to hell for writing this pls chan if u see this I’m so sorry 😔✊

It was 2 pm on a Saturday, and the members had all gotten ready to go out for lunch and a movie. All of the members except Jeongin, that is. “Are you sure you’ll be okay on your own?” Felix asked as the younger male nodded, “don’t worry! I just need some rest.” Felix nodded with a frown as Chan reminded Jeongin of the food that was left in the fridge for him, the hot water bottle on the counter, and made sure his phone was charged. “We’ll miss you.” Seungmin said as he hugged him. “I hope your stomach feels better soon.” After everyone said their goodbyes and locked the door behind them, the maknae let out a relieved sigh. He loved them all, he really did, but with him being the youngest it was near impossible to get alone time. He feltguilty for making them needlessly worry, but who knew when a chance like this would arrive again?

What Jeongin did in his own time was another story. He made his way to his and Jisung’s room, one side being a mess while the other was fairly clean. He had plenty of time to himself, so he decided to move a few of Jisung’s things to the side, as wellas picking up old wrappers and throwing them in the bin. He’d try to get mad at his roommate for being trashy but he never had the heart to, and would continue to go around cleaning his mess for him, sort of like a maid.

Once he finished, he took a shower and wore a robe before kneeling by his closet, using the key he’d hid in one of his sock pairs to open up the bottom most cabinet. At first view, the contents didn’t seem so bad, a small blanket and some handkerchiefs lined the top. Under them was a suitcase. He took it out and grabbed a second key from under his mattress. Jeongin always made sure to be careful with hiding his things, and when and where he’d take them out. He nervously unlocked the suitcase as his hands fell upon a familiar fabric.

He seemed to have grown out of the outfit a bit, so it was a hassle getting it on, but once he managed to, he felt ecstatic. He stood in front his wall mirror and gulped. He felt almost shameful, ‘what would the others think if they saw me like this?’ The thought only excited him more as he tugged down at his small skirt. The cloth of the maid outfit clung to him like moths to a flame, he felt like each edge and curve of his body was visible through the fabric. He grabbed a baby pink ribbon and tied it tightly around his waist, before finally wearing knee-high white stockings and completing the look. Jeongin took a deep breath and sat on the edge of his bed, still peering at himself through the mirror. He was never the most confident person he knew, and he didn’t necessarily love his body as much as he’d like to, but when he was left to his own devices, allowed to dress how he wanted, free of judgement? He felt pretty. Pretty and aroused.

A few minutes passed and he lay on his bed, laptop open in front of him, the actors in front of hims moans intertwining with his. He palmed himself softly while using his other hands fingers to muffle his sounds. His face flushed and his eyes felt heavy as he tried to keep his attention on the screen, feeling the thin fabric of his pink panties dampen with precum. Moving faster he sucked on curve his three fingers, eyes closing in pleasure. But of course, the moment did not last. Jeongin immediately jumped up and shut his laptop as he heard the front door close. “Innie?” He heard Hyunjin call out as he yanked his head band off in panic, ripping some of his hair too. “Ugh..” he groaned before slipping it under his blanket. “Innie, are you sleeping?” As he saw the door knob turn, he quickly pulled his fuzzy blanket up to his shoulders, hiding his outfit as his hyung burst in. “You weren’t responding, I got worried!”

“I didn’t hear, sorry.” Jeongin forced out a smile, sweat trickling down the side of his face. “Why aren’t you at the movies?” Hyunjin shrugged, “I wasn’t too interested in what they chose. Besides, someone needs to look out for you.” Maybe he should’ve come up with a better excuse than being sick. “Hey, did you clean up around here?” Jeongin nodded as Hyunjin shook his head, “Stupid Jisung, he should clean up himself.” He let out another nod as Hyunjin raised a brow. “What’s wrong? You’re so quiet, are you in pain?” Jeongin shook his head,”do you need anything? Should I call a doctor-“

“I’m just tired, alright!” He clutched the blanket in his hands, holding it tightly against him as Hyunjin stared at him in disbelief. It took him a minute to register that he raised his voice to someone elder than him. “I’m sorry Hyunjin hyung, I’m just frustrated.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” Hyunjin sat on the edge of the bed as Jeongin slightly shifted away. “Your face is red, are you getting a fever?” Jeongin shook his head. ‘When will he leave?’ Hyunjin brought the back of his hand to his forehead as he worriedly looked at him, “your temperatures high.” Jeongin avoided his gaze. “Come on, let's get that blanket off you.”

“No!” As Hyunjin reached for it, Jeongin yanked it back, only for the other to huff and stand up. “What is with you today? I’m just trying to help, you know! If you want me to leave then-“ Hyunjin stopped talking as his frown turned to a smile. “Oh, I get it now.” Jeongin heart started to race faster. “It’s alright, isn’t it? We’re both guys and basically the same age, you don’t need to be embarrassed.” Jeongin’s face flushed as he shook his head, “No, it’s not-“

“Oooh, is it something bad? Is that why you’re hiding it?” Hyunjin leaned over the smaller male and reached for the laptop next to him out of curiosity. He was always a bit too nosy, and it never managed to get him anywhere. Especially not anywhere good. As Jeongin grabbed the laptop in the others hands to tug it back, his blanket slipped from his torso. “Give it back!” He pulled it to his chest in embarrassment. He felt completely humiliated, being so exposed. ‘He’s probably disgusted.’ He was too scared to even look to see his impression as his legs began to shake. Noticing that, Hyunjin sat down next to him again, resting his hand on the younger‘s leg on top of the blanket. “Its... I won’t tell anyone, I swear.” Jeongin could feel himself tear up. The problem wasn’t who he told, it’s what he thought. He let his head droop, nails scratching the base of his laptop. “Don’t make that face.” Hyunjin brushed back Jeongin’s bangs gently, wiping his tears with his sleeve. “It’s pretty, I like it.” Jeongin felt his heart rate increase at that. “Stop lying.” Hyunjin giggled at that. “I’m not! It’s nice, the pink suits you.” Jeongin felt a twitch beneath the fabric. ‘Please, not now.’ 

“Can I see the rest of it?” By his facial expression, Hyunjin seemed just as shocked at his own words as Jeongin was. “I mean.. if you wanna.” He mumbled as Jeongin hesitantly nodded, shuffling the blanket off him as he slowly stood up, carefully holding his short skirt down to hide himself. Why was this turning him on? He questioned himself as silence fell upon them. Hyunjin looked away hesitantly, eyes falling onto the head band peeking out from under the maknae’s pillow. He pulled it out and stood up in front of him. “To complete it.” He gently placed it on his head, adjusting the strands of hair around it. They stood there for a while, Hyunjin admiring the sight before him and Jeongin shamefully peering at the ground. “I should let you handle... that.” Hyunjin awkwardly scratched at the side of his neck as Jeongin gulped. “I’m so sorry, it’s... it’s not because of you!” They both paused. “Not that you’d think it was, but it’s not, it’s just...”

“It’s okay. I’m not judging you.” That made him feel warm. Even in places he didn’t want to. As Hyunjin turned to leave, he found himself grab onto his arm. “Do you want to.. help me?” It felt like time stopped in that moment, with neither of them saying a word until Jeongin let go. “I’m sorry, I’m not thinking, this is just.. this hasn’t happened before and I’m confused.” Why was he getting so nervous? He had known Hyunjin for years, why was he acting like this now? “Alright.”

“Alright?” Hyunjin stepped closer to the younger male and mumbled a soft, “I’ll help you.”

Jeongin sat there silently, feeling the bed shift in front of him, before he came eye to eye with his friend, an unfamiliar look in his eyes. “Then, I’ll.. start.” He said softly before leaning forward, gently running his fingers through the others hair and tugging his head to the side, placing a kiss on his neck. Jeongin squeezed his eyes closed in anticipation. He never thought he’d be in this situation with someone else, especially not another member. “Hmm..” he let out a soft sigh of pleasure as Hyunjin kissed down to his collar-bone, licking across it before stopping where the cloth ends. Jeongin shivered as the other pulled away, his face a bright red. “Is this okay so far?” Of course he still continued to check up on him. “Mhmm.” Is all he managed to mutter as Hyunjin nodded. “Can you lay back?” Jeongin gulped, “yeah.. okay.” He unfolded his legs from beneath him and slowly leaned back onto his pillows. Hyunjin leaned over him, blocking the dim light from above. “Tell me if you don’t like it.” He scooted back and gently lifted his skirt, slowly pulling down his underwear to reveal the mess beneath. “You’re already so wet.” Jeongin turned his face to the side in embarrassment, shielding his face with his hand. Tossing the small fabric to the side, Hyunjin rested his hand on his thigh, stroking him with his thumb. “You look amazing.” He said softly. Jeongin could feel his member twitch at the praise, which the other noticed too. “So cute.” He held him between his thumb and index, continuing to stroke him. “Ugh..” Jeongin waited in anticipation as the other stroked him slowly while leaving marks on his inner thighs. After five or six, he pulled back, admiring his own work. “They look good on you.”

“Stop..” Hyunjin paused at that, looking up. “Does it feel bad?” Jeongin shook his head. “Stop mocking me.” Hyunjin smiled softly at that. “But I mean it.” He placed a small kiss on the tip of Jeongin’s member, making him shiver. “I’m happy i’m the only one who’s seen you like this.” He engulfed him in his mouth, causing his toes to churn, a soft moan escaping his mouth. As he began to move up and down, Jeongin bit the back oh his hand to muffle his loud moans. Hyunjin pulled back as he shook his head. “Let me hear you.” Those words were enough to get him close. He let his head fall back as he licked him all the way up and down. He could feel a tingling feeling in his stomach as he panted. Hyunjin swirled his tongue around the top, making him groan.

“Faster..” he muttered almost inaudible, yet Hyunjin got the message. He fondled him with one hand while taking him in with his mouth, bobbing his head up and down. Jeongin’s toes curled under his stockings, “Ah... Hyung, please-“ he looked down as his eyes met with dark brown ones, watching him as he continued. “Feels so good.” This encouraged Hyunjin to go faster as he clutched the bed sheets, making them come undone from the sides. A little later and his hips arched as Jeongin let his hold on his hair go, “Hyung, I’m.. I can’t hold it in-“ he whimpered, tightening his grip in the cloth as he released with a loud moan, panting loudly. He slowly opened his eyes once he had caught his breath, to find Hyunjin had pulled away. Spotting a familiar creamy substance lining his cheek, his face flushed, but before he could apologise, the older male wiped his face with the back of his hand, licking it clean, all while looking at him. Hyunjin’s face was just as flushed as his, with his lips swelled up more than usual. 

“Was that okay?” Jeongin nodded, letting his gaze fall elsewhere. Anywhere away from his eyes. Hyunjin seemed to have other ideas as he grabbed hold of his chin, turning him to face him. “Seeing you like that, I..” Jeongin looked away from his eyes, down at the bulge in his trousers and back up. “Can you..” he hesitated, but Jeongin understood. “Alright.” he moved over to let Hyunjin sit against the headboard for back support. Once in position, he unbuttoned his jeans before Jeongin stopped him, “I can do it for you.” Hyunjin nodded as he watched him slowly lean down and bite down on his zipper’s tab and pulled it down, before letting it go andgrasping the top of his jeans with his hands, awkwardly helping him shuffle out of them, continuing to do the same with his briefs, pushing them off the bed and to the floor.

Seeing his friend bare in front of him made him pause, head spinning. He liked to think of himself as fairly large, but after seeing another mans cock in person for the first time he questioned if that was true. Did that affect how good he could make someone feel? Well, whatever, it’s not as if he’d need it to please a girl. Or a guy. He’d never really thought about entering anyone, ever since he’d first explored his sexuality, he’d always pictured himself underneath someone. He snapped out of his thoughts at Hyunjin's worried voice, “Innie? You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” The worried look in his eyes pained him to see. “No, I want to! I’m just nervous, I don’t know how to do this at all..” He’d seen it on a screen, and experienced it for the first time himself a few minutes ago, but he had no clue how to pleasure another. “It’s okay, baby. We can go slowly.” The pet name made his head feel light as he nodded. “Should i start with my hands?”

“Sure.” Jeongin inhaled a shaky breath before he wrapped his fingers around, and slowly began to move his hand in an up and down motion, looking up to Hyunjin for approval, who nodded. Leaning forward, he pressed his tongue against the slit, moving it back and forth and circling the tip, soliciting a soft sigh in response. Did that mea he was doing alright? Whilst continue to move his tongue, he pressed his lips against him, taking more of him in. Hyunjins moans were soft and deeper than he thought they’d be, but he loved them, it was a sound he could get addicted to. Jeongin felt his hair get brushed off his forehead and grabbed by Hyunjin, who watched him continue, slowly guiding his head up and down by his hair. Once he took in half of him, Hyunjin’s moans became louder and unsteady, but he kept his eyes on Jeongin. His gaze felt piercing, almost intimidating, yet it encouraged him to go faster. “Fuck.. you’re doing so good.” he tightened the grip on his hair, the pressure on his scalp making his gut twist in a knot. Apart of him loved how patient he was with him, but apart of him wanted him to deep throat him without a care for how he felt. The thought drove him crazy as his member tingled yet again. Was sucking someone off seriously such a turn on for him? As he continued pleasing the other, he brought one of his hands down to his penis, rubbing it as he let out a moan, the vibrations making Hyunjin groan, “god, you’re so hot.” He yanked at his hair to pull his mouth away, a trail of saliva leading to his chin. “You’re hard again?” He let go of his grip as he sat upright. “Come closer?” Jeongin shyly shuffled so that their knees touched. Hyunjin grabbed his hips and pulled him onto his lap just enough for their dicks to compress against each other. Hyunjin gently traced the sides of their parts as Jeongin whimpered, letting his face rest in the crook of his neck. Hyunjin grasped one of his hands and brought it down along with his to their members, leaving their fingers intertwined as they both stroked themselves and each other. He could feel drops of saliva fall onto his collarbone from Jeongin's mouth as he panted, other arm wrapped around the taller male, holding the back of his shirt for support. “Is this okay..?” Hyunjin let out between moans as Jeongin nodded into his neck. “Feels.. ngh” his voice trailed off, making Hyunjin fasten his pace. The younger buckled his hips slightly, “Wait, I’m gonna-“ 

“It’s okay.. hah... me too.” Hyunjin managed to say between moans. They both came at relatively the same time, heat radiating off one another as they stayed sprawled on top of each other while catching their breaths. A sticky mess between their torsos. After a few minutes without moving, Jeongin slowly let go of his grip on Hyunjin’s shirt. “Umm.. I’ll clean up.” He stammered as he shakily climbed off the bed. “Yeah, me too.. the others will be back soon.” He rose and grabbed his clothing off the floorboards, watching Jeongin make his way towards the bathroom while unbuttoning his dress. Before he knew it, he found himself in his own room’s shower, tossing his clothes in the washing machine. Hopefully that wouldn’t leave a stain on his shirt. He sighed as he sat at the edge of the bathtub, waiting for the running water to warm up so he could shower. “What did you do, Hyunjin?” He groaned as he let his head droop in his hands. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” He let his heart take control over his mind and he knew they’d both have to face the consequences.


	2. (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY I DIDNT EVEN REALISE ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER? But seriously thank you all so so much for your love :( every kudos, hit, bookmark, and comment honestly make me so giddy, it means the world to me? Ok I’ll stop being sappy ew

What had he done? Jeongin experienced the most pleasure he’d ever had before, but at the expense of what? A lifelong friendship? He could feel his chest tighten at the thought of losing Hyunjin. He attempted to contain his overbearing thoughts as he lifted the dress over his head and off, before going back to the room to take off his sheets. He tossed everything in the machine and stood next to it, staring at the wall mirror of the bathroom. He looked messy and unkempt, his hair was knotted and his thighs glew red with love bites. “Ugh..” he grazed over them with his hand but was quick to pull away. ‘Don’t think about it.’ He told himself internally as he climbed into the shower.

A few hours later and the rest of the group arrived home. Jeongin had placed his belongings back in hiding and laid out his freshly washed bed sheets. He wasn’t sure where Hyunjin was, most likely hiding out in his room, as he was. A soft knocking sound came from his door as well as a worried voice. “Can I come in?” It was Seungmin. Jeongin nodding before realising he couldn’t see that. “Yeah.” The door creaked open and in came Seungmin and Jisung. “Hey bro, how’re you feeling?” Jisung asked as the younger smiled. “I’m much better now.” The two let out sighs of relief before Seungmin continued, “Did Hyunjin hyung take care of you?”

“Fuck.. You’re doing so good.”

The memory made Jeongin’s ears flare as he nodded. “Of course he did.” Seungmin smiled at that. “Minho hyung and Chan hyung are cooking up some dinner for later, will you eat with us?” The thought of sitting at the dining table with Hyunjin and having to act normal in front of all the members seemed almost unbearable. “I don’t really have an appetite.” Jeongin gave a soft smile as the two nodded. Jisung ruffled his hair before getting in bed next to him, hugging him. Jeongin smiled and let himself lean into the comforting embrace. “I’ll head back to my room, okay? Let me know if you need anything.” Jeongin nodded and thanked him. He let his eyes close as he snuggled with his roommate, leaving his mind vacant as he drifted off to sleep.

The next morning he woke up at 3 am to a blanket over him, Jisung having moved back to his bed. He yawned and rubbed his eyes clean. Sleeping that early would obviously lead to him waking up far earlier than usual, but it still felt odd. Usually by the time he was up, Seungmin would wake as well, but right now he was alone. He quietly got out of bed and tip-toed out of his room and to the kitchen, stomach rumbling. He used his phone’s flashlight to see around, not wanting to wake the other members up as he looked through the fridge. He settled on some peach flavoured yoghurt and sat on the sofa, eating in the dark. The house was never this quiet, nor dark, and it felt unfamiliar to him. That is, until he heard footsteps of a familiar hyung. He turned his phone light back on towards the member, to which he jumped, startled. “Channie hyung?” Jeongin called out softly.

Chan had turned the light on and seated himself next to Jeongin with his own cup of yoghurt. “I couldn’t sleep.” That wasn’t too surprising. 3racha would often stay up and could faintly be heard producing music. But even when they weren’t, Chan would still stay up and do his own thing. Apparently he felt more active at night, which Jeongin could never understand. “I just woke up.” Jeongin replied as he placed his empty cup on the table in front of him. “Oh, should I make you some breakfast?” Jeongin shook his head. “No, it’s okay! I’ll have some left overs or eat when the others are up.” Chan nodded and smiled. “I’m glad you got the rest you needed.” So was Jeongin, as it let his mind and body relax a bit more. “Me too.. Arent you going to get some sleep, hyung?” Chan glanced at his watch before nodding. “Yeah, I should try to get a few hours in,” he finished his cup before taking both of their trash to the kitchen, tossing them out. “Will you be okay? I can stay with you till someone else wakes up.”

“That’s okay, hyung. I’m gonna watch some tv and relax.” The leader smiled at that and nodded. “Oh, and Jeongin? Maybe don’t sit in the dark alone at 3 in the morning. It’s creepy.” The two chuckled as he headed off. Once left alone again, Jeongin turned on the tv to a random cartoon channel and kept the volume low, leaning back and enjoying the childish humour.

“Is he asleep?”

“I don’t know, lets turn off the tv and lights and go.”

“Aww, look at what he’s watching!”

“Changbin, we should leave!”

Jeongins eyes snapped open at the sudden noise as he rubbed away the crust from his eyes, slowly leaning forward. “Oh, he’s up.” Changbin said with a smile. “You seriously slept in today huh.. What did you do to make yourself so exhausted?” He said jokingly. Hyunjin stood next to him with his cheeks flushed. “How are you feeling, Innie?” He asked softly. Jeongin took a minute to process what was happening before forcing himself to stand up, rubbing his eyes. “Eh,” was all he said as he turned away from the two to go back to his room.

“Did you guys fight?” Changbin finally asked after hearing his door shut. “What? No, of course not!” Changbin looked at him with suspicion but brushed it off. “Alright, I believe you!” The two then went to the dining room and talked as they attempted to make pancakes for everyone. It was a bit of a mess but they managed to make some decent tasting ones, although some were slightly charred on the bottom. “That was exhausting.. we should’ve ordered breakfast burritos like I said to.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes at that, grinning all the less. “I’ll go call Seungmin, Felix and all, you go get Jisung and Jeongin.”

“Wait, shouldn’t I-“ before he had the chance to protest Changbin had slipped away, and so he found himself nervously knocking on the two’s slightly open door. At least Jisung would be there to ease the tension, right? “Breakfast is ready.” The younger male looked up from his phone, nodded, and went back to texting. “Where’s Jisung?” Hyunjin asked. So much for helping ease the tension. “Bathroom.” Hyunjin let out a soft, ‘oh,’ lingering. “Innie, are you upset by what happened?” Jeongin continued with his phone but let out a soft, “no I’m not.” To which Hyunjin nodded. “You’re not upset, but you are avoiding me?” Jeongin paused at that, but just shrugged. Hyunjin mumbled a “tch” before stepping closer. “I’m sorry if I went too far, alright? But you seemed okay and like you were enjoying it..”

“W.. what?“ Jeongin stammered, looking up at Hyunjin with a confused look. “You’re sorry?” Before he could properly respond, Jisung walked out in a bath robe and greeted Hyunjin. “Oh, morning, what’s-“ he paused as Hyunjin stepped back and turned away from Jeongin, who quickly got up to leave. “Up..” he completed awkwardly as Hyunjin mumbled out, “breakfast.” Before shortly following Jeongin out.

The table was abnormally quiet compared to usual, but everyone figured it was just because it was early morning. Two seats were left empty, one between Felix and Jeongin as Chan was still asleep, and the other between Hyunjin and Minho, as Changbin had gotten ready and went to the studio for some recording and composing, skipping breakfast. “Do you need a painkiller for your stomach, Jeongin?” Minho asked as Jeongin looked up from his food, “my stomach?” There was a short moment of silence between them before Minho nodded. “Yes?” He asked confused before Jeongin snapped out of it, feeling everyone’s eyes on him. “Oh.. No, that’s okay, I feel a lot better.”

“Then, do you want to come with me and the others somewhere? We were thinking of filming a talker episode.” Jeongin stopped to think. He didn’t love the idea, as his mind was clouded by other thoughts. To act in front of his members was one thing, but a camera too? “Jeongin?” Minho raised a brow. “Uh, yeah! Of course.” The older smiled slightly at that, seemingly relieved. “We’re only six, so we’ll split off into two groups.” Jeongin felt his nerves tingle at that but nodded. “How are we deciding?” Jisung asked between bites as Minho paused. “Uhh, draw names?” Everyone else seemed to immediately agree. And so after eating and cleaning up together, they decided Minho and Jisung would be in separate teams and do the drawing alternatively. It went fine for everyone but Jeongin, who seemed in physical distress by the results. “Alright, I’ll be with Felix and Seungmin, and Hannie is with Jeongin and Hyunjin. Is that okay?” No, it wasn’t okay. But he couldn’t speak up about it without raising suspicion, so he just nodded along with the others.

The two groups headed out in different cars, deciding to meet back at the dorm in three hours. Seungmin suggested they spend each hour to do something a member from each group wanted to. And so Jeongin found himself with his two hyungs at a rundown arcade, as suggested by Jisung. He stood next to Hyunjin uncomfortably as he waited for Jisung to come back with the playing coins. He felt bad shunning him like this, not only was the blonde his friend, but he was his elder too. Besides, he’s the one at fault for asking him to.. partake, wasn’t he? “Hyunjin hyung?” Jeongin said softly, but his words went unheard over the loud arcade music. Perhaps it’s better he didn’t hear. After awhile Jisung came back with coins and permission to film. The arcade was never very crowded on Sunday mornings, so the music was turned down a notch and the talker camera was handed to Hyunjin. “Hello talker! Jisung, Innie, and I are at the arcade today.” He did a little spin to show the arcade around him before gesturing at Jisung. “What do you wanna start with?” Jisung made an over the top thinking pose before pointing and heading towards an ice hockey table. Jeongin and Jisung ended up going first as Hyunjin took the camera with him to the other side of the arcade. “Let’s try a claw machine.” He said excitedly before setting the camera up to stand straight. He ended up spending majority of his coins on the rigged machine as Jisung came up behind him, “you know you can’t win these, right?” he made a mocking face towards Hyunjin into the camera as the elder shook his head. “Just wait!” And tried again. In an attempt to not make their fanbase worry, Jeongin smiled softly towards the camera, picking it up. “I’m sure you can get at least one, hyung.” Jisung shook his head, “don’t encourage him! The company is paying for those coins, you know.” Jeongin chuckled at that as Hyunjin’s grip on the joystick tightened. “I’ll get one.”

Soon Jeongin held a chain of tickets from winning against Jisung in different games and the two made their way back to the claw machine, which Hyunjin knelt against with a frown. “No luck?” Jisung asked as Hyunjins frown turned into a grin, “hella luck! Look!” He took out a small stuffed red fox from behind his back as Jisung laughed. “I don’t think twenty coins for a tiny plushie is considered lucky.” He teased as Hyunjin elbowed him. “It’s for you, Innie. It’s not a Fennec but.. it’s cute, right?” He handed it over to Jeongin who just stared down in shock. Noticing the camera was still out he smiled, holding it out to show. “Thanks.” Hyunjin beamed. “But it wasn’t worth that many coins.” His glowy exterior was quick to fade as he huffed, annoyed. Jisung raised a brow from behind the camera but proceeded to change the topic.

“What did you buy with your tickets?“ Jisung asked the younger in the car as he showed a small keychain with a plastic spider attached. “It’s all I could get but it’s a bit...” he paused. “Scary. I’ll give it to Channie hyung.” He dangled it in front of the camera before Jisung turned it off. “Alright bros, where to next?” The two instinctively turned towards the younger. “Uhh, I need to get some stationary and books for school, we could stop at the mall?” Hyunjin seemed happy at the mention of the mall as Jeongin gave directions.

The mall hadn’t reached its rush hour as of yet, but there were still a fair amount of people; a group of four girls had greeted them at the entrance and asked for a picture, which they hesitantly accepted. Jeongin still wasn’t used to being recognised in public, he was only 19 after all. “This way.” He motioned, having been there a few times before.

Soon he found himself with a collection of exams, some notebooks, and a stationery set. “Alright, I’m ready to-“

“Look at this one!” Jisung spoke excitedly to Hyunjin, pointing at some weird robotic toy. Jeongin smiled to himself and placed everything on the front counter, keeping it to the side before returning to the others. “Find anything you want?” He asked the two as Hyunjin smiled, turning his back to him before turning back with a clown disguise on his face, resulting in laughter from Jeongin and Jisung, who filmed from the side. Hyunjin lifted the mask and smiled, running his hands through Jeongin’s hair, “Smile like that more.” Jeongin’s breath hitched as he, without thinking, slapped his hand away, cheeks flushed, “cut it out!” Time seemed to stop as the three stared at each other, the air dense with tension. It’s not like Jeongin hadn’t gotten uncomfortable with skin-ship in the past, sometimes the babying was too much even for him, but he’d never raise his voice about it; especially not in public. “I’m gonna go pay..” he said softly, seeing some strangers eyeing them from down the isle. The two watched him leave before Jisung slowly pressed pause recording. “We can.. Cut that part out.” He said, trying to lighten the mood as Hyunjin smiled half heartedly. “Sure.”

Jeongin patted down his hair as he grabbed the company card that Jisung had given him in the car, swiping and bagging the items before heading to the entrance, where the two waited for him. They still had 45 minutes to go, so they decided to window shop. At a music store, Jisung stood at the counter discussing with the clerk about a mic he held in his hand while the duo stood silently at the bass guitar isle. “Innie..” Hyunjin gently held his wrist. The isle was at the very back, so he wasn’t worried about being seen. “Are you upset?” He asked the same question as earlier, yet now Jeongin didn’t know how to respond. Looking into Hyunjin’s eyes and seeing the whirlpools of brown worry made the hair at the back of his neck stand, but before he could formulate his thoughts into a sentence, he heard footsteps and pushed him away, “get off me.” He said in a loud whisper as Jisung made his way round the corner, “hey, should we head out?” Seeing the two stand with an unnatural distance between them and arms crossed, he raised a brow, lowered and turned off the camera. “Are you guys okay?” He asked, causing Hyunjin to smooth the scrunch between his brows with a smile, “yeah, of course.” Jisung seemed unsure but let it go with an ‘okay,’ as they all made their way out and to the vehicle.

They sat lost in thought for a couple of minutes before Hyunjin mumbled, “ice cream,” resting his head against the window as Jisung nodded. “Uh, okay, ice cream it is!” He gave directions to the driver and they headed off without another word the whole ride.

“You chose the worst place.” Hyunjin broke the silence as Jisung rolled his eyes. “You weren’t very specific, you know.” Hyunjin ignored him and waited for Jeongin to hand over the company card before he headed to the counter. Jisung told him his order and opened the camera, going and occupying a table and talking. “3 mediums, mint choco, cheesecake, and..” Hyunjin looked over to Jeongin, waiting for him to say his flavour. “Vanilla.”

“Ironic.” Jeongin flinched at the remark, but decided to ignore it nonetheless. He waited for their food before heading to sit down with Jisung, Hyunjin opposite to them both. “Vanilla’s the most boring flavour man,” he scolded as he grabbed the sauce on the table with one hand, dousing his cup in liquid chocolate. Jeongin cringed, “you’re weird.” To which the dancer chuckled, “you’re one to say.” Jeongin wasn’t used to being teased this way and could feel his face burn in frustration as Jisung peered at him, puzzled. “Why are you being so passive aggressive?” The other scoffed. “I’m passive aggressive? You can’t be serious.”

“I’ve made it clear how I feel, you’re the one who keeps latching on to me!” Hyunjin slammed his cup down in annoyance. “I’m trying to be nice, to not worry stays or Jisung! I’m being considerate!”

“Considerate, or fake?”

“Guys..” Jisung’s soft voice went unheard as he reached for the camera and turned it off for what felt like the tenth time that day. “You call me fake? I’m not the one pretending to be someone I’m not.” Jeongin fell silent at that, face scrunched in pain. “You’re such an ass-“

“Shut the fuck up!” A mix of confusion and anger lay on Jisung’s face as he yelled. “What’s wrong with you guys?” The anger left his face as quickly as it arrived and was replaced with sadness as he sighed, slumping back into his chair and pulling his hood on to avoid the gaze of other customers. A scandal was not what they needed. “I don’t know what’s going on, and I’m not gonna be nosy about it, but yelling is the shittiest way to solve your problems. And in public, too! This is so unlike you guys.” He sighed in annoyance as the two lowered their heads as if being scolded by a superior. Jeongin felt his heart rate beat faster as he shakily got up. “Sorry Jisung hyung.. I’m gonna use the bathroom,” he said softly before hurrying off.

He washed his face, not worrying about his light makeup being ruined and glared at himself in the mirror. He felt disgusting. He had upset two of his hyungs because of his uncontrollable temptations and there was nothing he could do about it now. “I’m so stupid..” he choked out as he grabbed a paper towel and pat his teary eyes dry, the rough material crumbling his concealer. He proceeded to wash his face again, scrubbing at it all over till he was red and makeup free. He dried his face with his sleeves and turned to leave before Hyunjin entered, closing the door behind him. Great. “Jisung’s waiting for us in the car.” Jeongin nodded, his arms falling from his face to his sides. “Innie.. Jeongin, I’m sorry.” Hearing his whole name made his ears perk. “I was mad and I didn’t mean it, I’m so sorry. I don’t think you’re weird and I don’t blame you for keeping this to yourself and-“

“It’s okay, hyung.” He cut him off, knowing that otherwise he’d keep rambling. “It’s not. I should... respect your boundaries.” His voice cracked unfamiliarly, the sound making Jeongin’s heart sink. “No, it’s.. obviously I still want to be close but,” he paused, inhaling deeply. “I don’t understand, shouldn’t you still be mad? I’m the one who forced you to do.. that.“ Hyunjin chuckled softly, to his dismay. “It’s not funny.” Jeongin huffed in annoyance as Hyunjin controlled his laughter. “Forced me?”

“Well.. yeah. You probably felt pressured because I’m your friend or because we were alone but I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or..” his voice trembled as Hyunjin held his waist, turning him to look him in the eyes. “I wasn’t uncomfortable, I was happy you asked me.” He pulled Jeongin closer as he whispered. “If I thought it was weird, I wouldn’t have gotten so turned on..” Jeongins face flushed as he nodded. “Okay, okay- I get it.” he said softly. “I think you looked gorgeous.” He placed a gentle kiss on the top of his ear. Jeongin stayed silent as Hyunjin brushed his bangs back before pulling away. “Are we okay?” Jeongin nodded as he watched Hyunjin turn away and leave him and his racing heart alone. He followed soon after recollecting his thoughts.

The ride home was only filled by the sound of camera button clicks as Jisung was presumably trimming the clips that the two messed up.  
As they finally reached, all of them seemed too exhausted to check up on each other and headed upstairs where they were immediately greeted by the others. “How was it?” Minho asked Jisung, only to be met with no words, just a tired back hug. He didn’t seem to mind though.

The rest of the day went by quite fast. Jeongin spent his time playing games with Felix, and completing an essay for school. Hyunjin went with Minho to practice some dance moves and only got back late in the evening. After showering, he decided to check up on Jeongin. Was he being too clingy? Yes, definitely. Would knowing that stop him? Probably not. A knock and a creak, and Hyunjin stood in the maknae’s room yet again. “Oh, you’re back.” Jeongin’s tone seemed more relaxed as to before as he folded a page of his textbook and shut it, putting it aside. “Yeah, I just reached.” He plopped down onto Jeongin’s bed after he moved his book. “Go take a shower! You’ll get sweat on my bed.” Jeongin teases as the blonde smiled. Looking over to Jisung’s empty bed he raised a brow, which Jeongin noticed. “He said he was going to spend the rest of the day working with Channie hyung.” Hyunjin nodded and stretched out. “Is he mad at us?” Jeongin asked softly as the other shook his head. “I talked to him, he just seemed a bit worried.” Seeing the younger tense at his words he corrected himself, “I didn’t tell him anything, I promise.” Jeongin’s shoulders fell as he nodded in relief.

The two stayed like that for awhile, with Hyunjin laying across the bottom of the bed with his eyes closed, and Jeongin with his legs crossed, scrolling through his phone. “Innie?” He mumbled a soft ‘yeah’ while scrolling before Hyunjin snatched his phone and turned it off. “Hey!” He frowned as Hyunjin got up to a sitting position, eyeing him seriously. “I want to ask you some questions.” He shuffled nervously but nodded nonetheless. He figured Hyunjin’s curiosity would pile up to the point of being interrogated eventually, so it would be better to just get it over with. “How long have you.. known so much about yourself?” The question was vague, but he understood. “A year, maybe two at most.”

“Does anyone else know?”

“No.”

“Do you want them to?”

“I’d rather die.”

The words made the others eyes droop in worry. “Do you regret it?” He paused at the question, staring into blank space. “I don’t know.” Hyunjin nodded. He didn’t seem to be particularly upset or happy by his vague answer. “Would you do it again?”

“What?!”

“It’s just a question!” Hyunjin exclaimed in defence, surprised by his loud reaction. “No.. I mean- I don’t know? This is weird.” His words were muddled and Hyunjin apologised quietly. “I just want to forget about it.” Silence fell between them as Jeongin dug his nails into the skin under his shorts nervously. “Alright.” He looked up and was met with Hyunjin’s usual sweet, smiling eyes. “I think that would be easier for our friendship.” Jeongin beamed at that, glad he agreed.

They sat and chatted for awhile longer about their days before Jeongin’s sleep reminder rang. He had to get at least 7 hours before his classes the next day. “Good night then.” Hyunjin gave him a quick but firm hug before getting up. “Night.” Jeongin waved as he left and shut the light and door behind him. Laying in bed and finally letting his eyes rest, his thoughts fell silent as he drifted off to deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anddd it’s over- kind of a mess, I know. This was definitely a bit rushed I’m ngl, but I wanted to get atleast one more chapter up before my upcoming exams :) I think I have a more clear idea of what I wanna write for the next chapter and where I wanna go with it so hopefully u can expect a bit better content


	3. (3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh dear i rlly forgot abt this for 3 months huh T-T i’m so sorry.. i’m guessing all of you forgot abt this too which is totally understandable, but i will try to post again (at least once/twice a month) and not let my mental health take over.

It had been 2 months since everything between the two happened, or ‘didn’t happen’ as they’d pretend. Jisung quickly forgot about their feud and everything seemed to finally go back to normal, with the group keeping themselves busy with work. It was a Thursday, and Changbin and Hyunjin had been staying out working for most of the week. Changbin was to be on masked singer while Hyunjin was working on a performance with idols his age. The rest of the group kept up with their usual routines.

At 10 pm, Hyunjin and Changbin had come home together, both looking messy and unwinded. Jeongin and Seungmin sat in the living room with a blanket over them, an action movie playing in the background. “Hey hey.” Changbin said cutely as he plopped down on the sofa next to them, while Hyunjin quietly sat down next to the maknae. Seungmin wrapped his arm around his shoulders and tugged him closer, whether to make space or to cuddle, Jeongin wasn’t sure. Hyunjin leaned back and closed his eyes as Changbin pulled out his phone. “Tired?” Jeongin whispered, so as not to talk over the characters dialogue. “Exhausted.” He lifted the blanket over him up from the side and motioned Hyunjin to take some, which he gladly excepted, scooting closer and leaning his head onto the younger. Jeongin felt slightly crushed between the two, but decided to ignore it and continue watching.

The next thing he knew, it was morning and he was laid across the couch messily, with Hyunjin on top of him. It was nice, falling asleep while watching movies and cuddling together. He was happy they could do it again. He wasn’t too happy about the cramp in his leg, though. “Hyung, off-“ he pulled his leg from underneath him, scooting into a sitting position as the other slowly did the same, yawning and stretching his arms over his head. “We fell asleep.” Jeongin told him. “You mean you fell asleep and wouldn’t let me go back to my own bed.” Hyunjin laughed at his surprised impression.

“Sorry.” Hyunjin shook his head. “Don’t be, it was cute.. you clung onto me like this!” He jumped forward and embraced Jeongin suddenly as he playfully pushed him away. “Stop!! Tickles-“ The two laughed and rolled around before they ended up moving a little too much to the right and falling off the couch.

“Ugh..” Hyunjin groaned as the back of his head hit the hard tiles, though his annoyed face was quick to become soft and flustered as his eyes fell on Jeongin, seated over his lap, rubbing his thigh in pain.. “Sorry, I think I pushed too hard,” he let out an awkward laugh as Hyunjin told him not worry about it. Jeongin slowly climbed off while Hyunjin let himself lay still, staring at the ceiling. He could feel each patch of skin Jeongin had touched burn with anticipation. “Are you okay?” 

‘No, you drive me crazy.’

“I think I have a concussion.” Jeongin scoffed and offered out his hands to pull him back up. “Don’t be dramatic.” Hyunjin gladly intertwined their fingers and let himself be pulled up before brushing himself off. “You look horrible.” Jeongin teased, looking up at his bedhead. Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “your morning breath stinks.” Jeongin breathed into his hand to check. “Does it really?” He frowned.

“What? No! Of course not, you smell great, i was just-“ Jeongin grinned cheekily at him. “It’s too early for you to be messing with your hyungs, you know.” Hyunjin ruffled his hair and made his way to his room’s bathroom to freshen up, Jeongin doing the same.

They were soon sitting together again in the dining room, with some simple eggs and bacon made by Felix laid out in front of them. Jeongin lifted up his piece of slightly charred meat and paused. “Hey, at least its better than last time, remember the waffles?” The two giggled. “I mean really, how do you mess up frozen waffles?” Jeongin tried to stifle his laughter. “Stop, stop-“

“Careful or you two won’t get post practice brownies anymore.” The freckles boy huffed as Hyunjin put his hands together in an apologetic manner, “please don’t take away the brownies.” Felix rolled his eyes with a smile and left to go call the rest of the group, leaving the two alone again.

It took a few weeks for the two to not go dead silent when left alone, but they had both slowly started to talk more casually, and had made it to the point where they could mess around again.

“Hey, Jeongin?” Jeongin chewed his food with a, “hmm?” before turning to Hyunjin, choking slightly at the sight of him holding two boiled eggs in front of his eyes and grinning wide. He forced himself to swallow before laughing loudly. “You’re an idiot.” And he would act like an idiot a thousand times again if it meant seeing the younger smiling so brightly.

“And that’s it for today.” As soon as the words left their choreographer’s mouth, the members fell to the ground, sprawling out over the cool floor. It took a few minutes of catching their breaths before they began to get up and get water. Hyunjin stayed laid out across the middle of the floor, listening to everyone’s footsteps subside with his eyes closed. He wondered if Felix had made anything sweet for them to eat. His thoughts ended abruptly as he jumped at the feeling of something cold against his arm. “Hey, what the f-“ he paused as Jeongin smiled, holding out a water bottle for him. “Is that how you say thanks?” He chuckled and grabbed the bottle, immediately going to drink it before setting it down, breathing deeply to catch his breathe. Dancing was his passion, and because of that excitement he’d often go overboard with practice and end up completely worn out. At least the water helped though. The water and the sight of Jeongin, that is. Flushed from the heat and sweating through the thin fabric of his shirt, leaving little to the imagination. It made his brain fog up more than it already already was. As he took a sip of his own water, Hyunjin couldn’t help his eyes following a droplet down from his chin, to his neck, and into his shirt, two buds peaking out on either side of the droplet as it got absorbed by his shirt fabric. 

“Hyung..”

Hyunjin snapped his head back up at that. “You’re staring.” The two paused as Jeongin tugged at his shirt to stop it from sticking to him. “At me.”

“Oh. Sorry, I’m just.. Out of it.” Jeongin closed the cap onto his water bottle and nodded. “You should rest.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” And with that, they made their way up to their dorm, separating and going to their rooms. Minho laid on his bed with a towel around his neck, hair damp. “Took you long enough to get here. Seungmin and I already showered but there should be hot water left if you’re fast enough.” Hyunjin nodded, heading into the bathroom without responding and locking it shut. He took off his sweat drenched clothes and turned on the shower, climbing into the hot water as he sighed.

He tried to continue his shower and not let his thoughts drift, but as usual, he ended up failing, with his back against his tiled wall and hand around himself, pumping up and down slowly. His mind grew fuzzy with thoughts of the youngest; the way his thin legs looked in shorts, drenched in sweat and his soft, tired panting that sounded so similar to that day. He slowly moved faster and bit down on his lip. The water was loud enough to mask any noise he let out, but he still didn’t want to risk being too loud. Minho would not let him hear the end of it if he knew what he was getting up to.

He leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes. He remembered how their fingers had intertwined as they simultaneously touched each other and themselves, how Jeongin’s skirt had rode up to his thighs, how his body had shook gently as he came. And when he remembered the way he looked up at him for approval with his pretty mouth around him, the pressure in his cock built up quickly and he shot out short streams of white liquid, letting out a long, heavy moan of relief.

Once he had calmed down and continued his shower, Hyunjin’s lust was quick to be replaced with guilt. He had tried so hard to move past it, to pretend it was all just a fever dream. But the feeling of Jeongin’s skin against his was far too real for his mind to push aside. As he put on his bath robe and exited the shower he frowned. Speak of the devil.

Jeongin lay next to Seungmin on his bed, laughing about something on his phone. Those two were always really close, and as much as Hyunjin hated to admit it, sometimes he’d get jealous.

It hadn’t taken long for Hyunjin to realise he liked their maknae. He wasn’t exactly inexperienced when it came to men or women, so his gender didn’t trouble him. What did was the fact that Jeongin was a fellow member, someone he lived with and someone who was straight. At least that’s what he had thought before.

He’d heard of straight friends fucking around together before and thought it was totally ridiculous, but maybe it wasn’t for Jeongin. Maybe he’d have been okay with doing it with any member, had they been there at the time. His eyes fell on Seungmin. 

‘Any member, huh.’

“I’m gonna start to think you have a crush on me if you keep staring like that.” Jeongin snickered as Hyunjin rolled his eyes. If only he knew.

“You wish.” He made his way to his closet and picked out a plain button up blouse and skinny jeans. “Out.” He said to them. “Whyyy,” Jeongin whined, “go change in the bathroom!” 

“It’s still wet from the shower.” The younger huffed at that before Seungmin tugged at the blanket at their feet, “we’ll just go under till you’re done.” 

He could hardly stand seeing them lay on the bed together, but having them completely under a blanket, breathing each other’s hot air, faces close together? “You know what, it’s fine. I’ll use the bathroom.” He grumbled, heading in.

“What’s he so annoyed about?” 

“Not sure.” Jeongin shrugged, but continued to eye the bathroom door until Hyunjin came out, all dressed. “Are you okay?” He asked aloud as Hyunjin looked over.

He wasn’t okay, to be fair. He felt like such a shitty friend for continuing to look at Jeongin that way when he specifically told him not to, to go so far as to masturbate to him. The youngest checking up on him like this didn’t do much to ease his guilt. 

Maybe he should tell him, be one hundred percent honest with him. Coming clean would help his conscience, though it probably wouldn’t do much to help continue their friendship. He glanced at Seungmin, then back at Jeongin. They’d have to be alone for that. “I’m just tired.”

“You seemed like it earlier too. Minho hyung went to go pick up lunch with Jisung hyung, so eat and then nap.” Seungmin told him. So that’s why Jeongin was there, not wanting to be left alone in his dorm. Hyunjin nodded before plopping himself onto his bed, going under his blanket and ignoring the other two’s whispers and giggles.

As they all waited in the living room for the dining table to be set, Hyunjin had ended up sitting next to Jeongin, (much to his delight) and gently tapped his leg. “Yeah?”

“Can we talk later?” Jeongin frowned at that, the concern evident on his face. “Are you sure you’re okay, hyung?” Hyunjin nodded, stroking the others hair in comfort. “It’s nothing big, don’t worry.” Jeongin leaned into the others touch with a soft sigh. “Alright, later then.” 

But later never seemed to come. Not after lunch, or dinner, or at night. Hyunjin had come to the conclusion that Jeongin was avoiding him yet again, and found himself too scared to ask for time to talk with the other again. 

Two days passed and Hyunjin lay in bed trying to sleep, although it proved to be quite difficult with his chain of thoughts. Once he finally started to drift off, he was shaken awake in the dark, letting out a gasp before he felt the younger’s index against his mouth, “shhh, the others will wake up!” He nodded slowly and Jeongin pulled away, holding onto his hands and pulling him up into a sitting position. “I’ll wait for you in the living room.” He whispered before heading off.

Hyunjin’s head was spinning by the time he tiptoed out of his room. He was tired and messy and worst of all; nervous. Would Jeongin hate him?

The other waited on the couch like he said he would, a dim lamp on the table in front of him. He patted the spot next to him, as Hyunjin made his way over and sat down, slightly further away then he meant to. 

“You’re a day late.” Jeongin turned to face him. “Sorry, I tried to get alone time with you but..” But the members clung to him all the time. He was aware. “It’s fine, really.”

Jeongin nodded and patiently waited for Hyunjin to go on, crossing his legs with his hands in his lap. He looked so small sitting in front of him like this, he could almost just eat him up..

No, this was exactly what he shouldn’t be thinking about. “Jeongin, I..” he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, but I can’t forget what happened.” Jeongin noticeably tensed up at that.

“Oh.”

“And I tried, really, I did! But maybe not hard enough.. I think about it a lot, about you. Maybe even more than I did before. I think about how you looked laid out like that and how pretty you were in that dress and the sounds you made and..” when he realised he was rambling he stopped talking, looking at the others face to get a hint of whatever emotion he was feeling, but with his head down, his slightly overgrown bangs covered his eyes. 

He nervously continued, “And I can’t help thinking about you when I... God, I’m horrible, aren’t I? Who the fuck gets off to their friend, I’m so sorr-“

“Hyunjin?” The lack of an honourific made him gulp as he shut himself up. “Me too. I think about you too.” He spoke so softly that Hyunjin had to shift closer to hear, and when he did he swore it took all of his willpower to not pounce on the younger right then and there. “But you said..”

“I know what I said. But I’ve never felt that way before and.. it was a bit awkward, right?” Very. “But it wasn’t bad, it was actually really, really good..” he trailed off and scooted closer, which Hyunjin was quick to notice. He could feel his heart beat faster and louder with every slight movement the other made. “I shouldn’t, but I want you, hyung.” Seeing those same pretty eyes gaze up at him was his turning point as he reached out, grabbed onto his wrists and pushed him down onto his back, hovering over him. He felt like a hungry animal, but even then he had the decency to ask, “Innie, can I get you off?” The other broke eye contact at that, clearly embarrassed as he nodded with nothing more than a, “hm.” And that was all it took for Hyunjin to continue. 

Within the next minute, the front of Jeongin’s sleeping shirt was unbuttoned, with Hyunjin’s mouth against his skin. Oh, how he missed kissing him all over like this, feeling him squirm underneath him. Hyunjin let his tongue out at the base of his stomach, leaving a trail of saliva up till his chest as Jeongin shivered, back arching upwards. He left him small kisses before reaching his left nipple, taking him into his mouth and sucking. “Ah!” Jeongin gasped loudly at the sudden warmth before Hyunjin pulled away, eliciting a small, disappointed whimper in response. “Quiet, you don’t want the others to hear.” Jeongin nodded as Hyunjin smiled. “Good boy.” He squeezed his thighs together at his praise as Hyunjin bit and pulled at the two sensitive buds.

In such close proximity to his chest, he could hear how loudly Jeongin’s heart was beating through his skin, and found it oddly comforting that he wasn’t the only one.

As he pulled away, he took a moment to take in the sight in front of him. He had barely touched the other, and yet he already looked worn out and messy. His torso had red marks scattered all over and his chest heaved up and down quickly. Hyunjin smiled at his giraffe printed pyjamas. He was so cute without even attempting to be, and it made him want to ravish him even more. “Hyung, why are you stopping?” Jeongin murmured softly and grinded forward against Hyunjin’s leg, causing him to flush a bright red, “so needy..” He brought his knee closer to press against Jeongin’s crotch and watched as the other whined beneath him, hands clinging onto Hyunjin’s sleeves. He pulled his left arm away from his grip and put a finger against his lips, motioning for him to be quiet the way the other had done to him before. Jeongin nodded once again, but held onto his wrist before he could pull his hand away.

Before he knew it, his two fingers were against Jeongin’s tongue, his eyes staying linked with his. Was he always this bold? “Wait.” Hyunjin pulled his hand and knee away, the other frowning slightly in response. “What’s wro-“ he was cut off by a surprised gasp as Hyunjin’s hands went around his waist, pulling him forward until he was on his lap. In this position, Jeongin could feel how hard Hyunjin had gotten and could feel his thighs shake at the thought. “Hyung..” he pressed his body against his, grinding onto him as Hyunjin pressed his same fingers against his lips with a soft groan. “Open,” Jeongin gladly complied, sucking on his fingers and swirling his tongue around all the while moving his hips back and forth against his thigh. Hyunjin could feel the fabric around his leg dampen with precum, but was too focused on the younger’s mouth to notice. He wanted to replace his fingers with his tongue, to only part lips for air when absolutely necessary, but he didn’t seem to have the guts to ask, and it frustrated him.

Slowly, he leaned his wrist forward, moving his fingers further into his throat, causing the younger to gag slightly, eyes welling up. But he made no effort to move away, rather scooted closer so that their clothed members rubbed again each other. Jeongin moaned into his fingers while bobbing his head, ignoring the itch at the back of his throat. 

“You’re beautiful.” The words made the younger shiver as Hyunjin’s left hand traced the side of his waist. Feeling him grind more roughly into his pelvis, Hyunjin let out a soft moan. The feeling of his wet, warm mouth and him rubbing desperately against him was too good. “Baby, can you cum just like this?” He pulled his hand back to let the younger speak, a strand of saliva falling from his fingers into the couch. “Can’t, I need.. Ah-” Despite his words, he continued to move his hips forward and back, moaning softly. “For me, kitten?” The nickname made Jeongin’s head heavy, as he instinctively leaned forward and rested his forehead against Hyunjin’s. Seeing his positive response made him bite his lip. “I wanna see how messy you’d look coming untouched.” He gripped his hips and roughly rubbed up against him as tears made their way down Jeongins cheeks as he fought back noises forming at the back of his throat. “Already crying.. you’re so sensitive, Jeongie. How are you gonna hold up when we go further than this?” Jeongin struggled to come up with a response as he muttered out gibberish. “You won’t last a minute when I fill you up and pound into your sweet spot.” He moaned loudly at that, eyes rolling back as he increased his pace. “Hyuung..“ he whined like a puppy.

Hyunjin wasn’t sure where he was coming up with his words but god, he was glad he was. The expression on Jeongins face was so good, yet he was afraid the younger would fall apart as he trembled more with each roll of his hips. Hyunjin dug his nails into either sides of his waist and rutted up to help with the friction. “God, baby, you’re so loud. Do you want the others to hear, to see you like this and make a bigger mess out of you?” At that, Jeongin leaned his head forward and bit down onto his neck harshly to muffle his loud moans, hips stuttering as he came.

Despite his cum leaking out into his underwear, Hyunjin continued to hold onto his sides and rut upwards, only stopping when Jeongin’s exhausted pants slowly turned to feminine cries of excessive stimulation. “Hurts..” he let out a soft sob and that was enough for Hyunjin to throw his head back, closing his eyes as he came with a low moan, biting onto his lip to keep himself under control.

After taking in enough oxygen, he opened his eyes to see Jeongin’s staring back at him, big and watery. He gently reached up and wipes the dried tears from his face. “Im so sorry, I was too rough, are you okay?” Jeongin shook his head yes, leaning into his hand, “You were great. I liked it better this way, actually..” The thought of Jeongin taking it rough and liking it was enough for his member to want to rise again, but he decided to clear his mind of those thoughts, both their bodies far too exhausted to go on.

“Ah, shit.” the sound of Jeongin swearing made him raise his brow. “I’m sorry hyung, I didn’t mean to..” Jeongin trailed off but seeing where his eyes laid, Hyunjin groaned while gently touching his neck and feeling the skin burn from where he had bit him. He had left a lot more marks on Jeongin, but his being in a visible place would be annoying. Seeing how worried he looked Hyunjin smiled, “it’s not a big deal, don’t worry! I can get up early and cover it with concealer.” Jeongin looked relieved as he slowly shuffled off, glancing down at the wet patch in his pants. “Ugh, that is so gross.”

“Shut up, you enjoyed it.” Hyunjin teased, seeing the other flush and reach for the tissue box on the counter parallel to the couch. Once the two wiped themselves down they slowly got up. Hyunjin hummed as he buttoned up Jeongin’s pyjama shirt back up for him, pausing to kiss a hickey, noticing how the other shivered. He glanced back at the couch to make sure there were no stains before facing the other. “Hey, you’re not gonna go back to ignoring me, right?”

Jeongin chuckled softly. “I won’t. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, really. I don’t mind being... Friends with benefits, or whatever, we just can’t let it get awkward, okay?” Hyunjin felt his stomach drop. Right, they were simply fuck buddies. They both wanted the same thing but for completely different reasons.

“Okay.” Hyunjin forced out a smile. “Make sure to change out of your bottoms, alright?” The younger nodded with a soft ‘night,’ and quietly tiptoed to his room. Hyunjin did the same, sneaking into the bathroom and changing into a pair of hanging pjs, throwing his dirty ones into the washing machine for later. The whole scene felt similar, but he was glad he didn’t have to worry about the future of his friendship this time.

Creeping past his roommates’ beds, glad to hear their loud snores, he climbed into bed and turned to his side, eyes closing. He convinced himself not to think about his feelings for the younger and just be happy he’s getting one of the many things he wanted, and to an extent it worked, letting him fall asleep.

The next day he awoke to Jisung standing over his bed, a look of pure horror on his face. “Dude, you’re batshit crazy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls i have no idea what this chapter is or why i thought it was a good idea to switch the pov to hyunjin randomly but?? enjoy???

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve never written smut before idk what this is or where this is going I hardly proof read it bc it’s late but pls let me know what u think ! 🥺


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